He's like a plant...

He died in bed. Arrangements are pending.

Raised by a hoe

I shouldn't have kept him in the dark so long

I'm confident he'll thrive after the cutbacks

I keep waiting for him to grow up

He just stays in bed all day

covered a lot of ground this summer

Only brings me flowers once a year

I wish he'd branch out more

he only opens up with his best buds

has to move out of his flat

we have different cell plans

The new puppy digs him

out standing in his field

I got a little snippy when he started to stray

He's a perennial favorite of mine

I've tried talking to him but get no response

the weed nearly killed him

leaves at the end

in a chronic vegetative state.

working his way from the ground up

grows stronger when life throws crap at him.

Can be a real prick sometimes

without a drink, he's a real stick in the mud

He irritates the snot out of me

Got the dirt on him

When I got closer to him I realized he was a phony

he passes a lot of gas

Down to earth

Cant go long without a drink

Has some real growth potential

he's a budding genus

once he puts down roots I'm sure he'll blossom

If he lives with me, I'll kill him

I cut him down to size

A real stalker

He's a late bloomer

Used to be a little seedy

I put him in his place and he hasn't moved since

needs a little sunshine in his life

Tossed aside after being deflowered

Prone to sappy outpourings

with him around I can breathe easier

He really opened up after a few drinks

ended up being just my cup of tea

hangs with a seedy bunch

makes his own food

turns water to vine.

Used to be a bud

has a seedy past

he's growing on me

His life went to pot after the weed problem

I accidently killed him