He's like a fortune cookie...

I just wanted a clean break, but he was crushed

always seems to split when the bill arrives

a wise cracker

got served with papers

he always gives me the slip after a meal

Always the last to arrive and the first to split

He was crushed when I left him at the restaurant

came out of his shell after after dinner & drinks

a wanton philosopher

only comes to my place when I order Chinese food

gets baked and says nonsense

all broken up over a silly text message

I'd take his advice if his crack wasn't showing

when he opened up I could see my future with him

Always broke, never gives a good tip

gives me food for thought

great conversation starter, but has no taste

can only hold one thought at a time

when I asked what my future held, he snapped

a big follower of General Tso

at times, he can be consumed with his thoughts

his sage advice is delivered in poor taste

sugar coats everything he says

everyone at the table pauses to hear what he says

he wouldn't give me the message until I broke him

It's what's inside that matters

Gives out digits to every chick in the restaurant

had some Chinese characters on his back

he's used the same lines on all of your friends

Miso impressed with his wisdom

Complimentary

sometimes I want to trade him for a better one

sometimes I forget him at the restaurant

a proverbial know-it-all

told me my future then fell to pieces.

he's sweet, but no one really takes him seriously

getting smashed is a quick way get a read on him

says something witty in 50 characters or less

I felt so lucky when he gave me his numbers

Never foots the bill, just sits on it

always gets the last word at the dinner table

I really wonder who writes his lines

was innocent, but people made him into a sex fiend

speaks broken English

always giving me crumby advice

Distracts you when it's time to split the check

he broke up with me, so I finished him off

entertaining, but you can't believe a word he says

gives you the same advice he gives everyone else

my kids say he's fun, but i find him stale

a little cooky

Cracks under pressure

splits and leaves you with the check

a crusted advisor

Left a tip but announced I'd be paying the bill

easy to crack for a wise guy

you gotta break him to get a word out

people laugh at him when they think of him in bed

he seems out of place at a Steakhouse

gets in your face when you are already fed up

I ate his words, which I admit was really stupid

Always desserts me when I needed him most

Pretends to be Chinese but is from California

he implied that my order was enough for two people

His advice doesn't always translate

hard to digest all the information

Maybe he's not ordered, but I just get him

He's in the bag

Didn't want to tell me, but I cracked him

full of air and nonsense

although broke, still optimistic

he always gets smashed right after dinner

my future was with him

leaves it till the end to tell you something

ain't got no dough

Always giving out his number but no one gets lucky

he's better when you end him "in bed"

can't hold a full conversation

the snappy one-liner is his stock in trade

leaves me notes with his # on the back

It's what's on the inside the counts