Oh what a tangled web we weave, when...

we put away the Christmas lights

when first we practice to crochet

we attempt to walk five dogs at the same time

we wash stocking, panties and bras together

We hook up all our electronic accessories

We try to give ourselves a home perm

we put in hair extensions

our necklace turns into a ball of chain

we create multiple facebook identities

We put gum in our sister's hair.

we try to make a gimp lanyard at summer camp

we play Twister.

we go on the internet when drunk

We are cross-eyed spiders

we decide to grow dreadlocks

We have no hair conditioner

We have 100 tabs open at once

we take the kids fishing

we date two people simultaneously

we get our first Lots O'Loops potholder kit

We spread some nasty rumours about our friends

We teach ourselves macrame

your parachute gets stuck in a tree

knitting goes horribly wrong

your loom comes without instructions

I get my hair caught in the loom.

We are learning to tie our shoes

We tease our hair

first we practice to conceive

you're a spatially challenged spider

We lose our car in the parking lot at the mall

playing Jacob's Ladder

we take underwater basket weaving

we try to illustrate our conspiracy theory on a cork board

We lie under oath

first learning sailors' knots

we're covering up lies with lies

we primp Granny for her annual GYN exam

we knit Halloween sweaters

we lose our moral compass

we juggle multiple affairs at once

We're a drunken Spiderman

We forget to collate our lies

we weave it out of velcro

we play 'cat's cradle' with our niece

we're Mark Zuckerberg

We show people Amway circles

we dummies try to get onto the internet

we first walk into a spiders web

The manager won't supply the office with wireless equipment

we tell a single lie

We dive into an ocean of brown seaweed

you don't know how to knit.

we decide to commit bigamy

we take ducks on a long walk

we get lost in the corn maze at Halloween.

making those potholders at camp

you wipe your boogers on my sleeve

We try knitting for the first time

a father bears many children from many mothers

we have way too many bookmarks

We don't know that first thing about being a spider.

we get distracted by cute spiders when we should be focused!

we have a bad (hair) day!

we attempt to be friendly

use the cheap conditioner - I can't go out looking like this!

we try to explain "Spider-Man" to non-comics fans

the holidays are combined with creamy, beige booze and a crazy, weepy mom.

we judge

we aren't very good liars