He's like a battery...

his job drains him

he's got his positive and negative points

I charged him to use my phone

got jumped on the side of the road

I put him in a position of power

I knew he'd run out on me

He spent his life inside a cell

He's rarely included when the toys are given out

Now that he's old he leaks

he's been dropping a lot of acid lately

on the plus side, he has a point

He died without warning.

Gets my motor running

time stood still when he died

has his plusses and minuses

I was kept in the dark when he died

he has connections in the hood

His current charges are shocking

I think he's bi-polar

I need him in AA for things to work

he operates off the grid

his current job is in DC

Keeps my sex life buzzing

easily replaced

if he stops working, he's dead

I always check to see if he's included.

I like the way he backs me up in an emergency

He showed me that size really does matter

He gets crusty in his old age

every now and then he needs a little boost

We couldn't charge him so we threw out his case

I'm sick and tired of having to change him

He's so negative half the time

I found him revolting

on the plus side, he stays positive

without him my vibrator isn't nearly as much fun

Even in that Ferrari, he looked kinda square

He reacts well to Lithium

Winters are especially hard on him

Not included in childhood games

He gave me quite a start!

With him, I'm never quite sure which end us up

I put the clamps on him and he took charge

Does his work undercover

My sister jumped him in the parking lot

Hung around with a pack of A-types.

I lost everything when he died.

has a lot of pent-up energy

He has his positives and negatives

my new boyfriend replaced him as soon as he died

I'm back to an old crank without him

helped me keep current when I didn't pay my bills.

after he was charged he ran

I really get a charge out of him

his power is a turn on

has a negative side to him.

dropped acid when he was older

he has a little bump on his head

I've got a backup in case he goes out on me

rather caustic

Ruined Christmas when he didn't show up

When he died everything came to a standstill