If I had more money, I'd ...

double my investments and retire comfortably

definitely move into a ritzy chateau

Dress mainly in Armani. Really chic!

divide my income among research charities

dump mom in a retirement center

Drink margaritas in a rocking chair

drive myself in a Rolls-Royce Coupe

divorce my idiotic, arthritic, repulsive companion

Donate medicines in all repressed countries.

drink more imported ales, rejecting Coors.

dress myself in argyle riding chaps

donate millions in assets reinforcing charities

drive multiple imported Audi racing cars

delight more individuals and replenish charities

Direct movies in a remote country

Drink more intense African rare coffees.

Drive my Italian Alfa Romeo constantly

Delight my in-laws annually: Royal Caribbean

design my incredible art recreation center.

Deny my impending anal rape charge

Dance minuets in a resplendent castle

Do many illegal acts really carelessly

Divorce my ignorant asshole! Reality's crushing.

do more investigative arctic research cruises

distribute meals in a Roman chariot

develop more inventions and restore cars

Drink more, indulge appetites, request caviar!

decrease my insurances and really celebrate

Drink merlot in a race car

Drink margaritas in a ratan cabana

Drink martinis in a rich community

divvy my interest among real charities

disappoint. My intentions aren't really charitable.

Design many intricate aerodynamic robot cats.

Desire more Italian and Russian concubines

destroy my Impala and race Corvettes

donate my incredible antique racing car

dabble more in arcane relationship choices

dye my irises a ruby color

Develop my inner aristocrat remembering chivalry

deconstruct my igloo and rearrange cubes

divide my inheritance and reward Communists

Decorate my interior and re-invent christmas

donate more income as rent control

Donate my income and rattle cages.

Drive Maseratis Impulsively, Recklessly, Carelessly

divide money in Africa, remediating children

do marvelously incredible acid, riding cadillacs.

Drink More Icewine, And Ritzy Cognac!

discreetly make immoral audacious Republican contributions.

divorce, marry India Arie, really cruise!

Demonstrate madly in annual Republican conventions

Do more in American revolutionary concepts.

Definitely Milk It All Riding Cars