Wordplay games to foster creativity and community.
OneUpMe.com is a community of creative thinkers who come together every day to play wordplay games. Every weekday, new topics are posted in a variety of games and players attempt to "one-up" each other in the cleverness of their responses. To get to know the site a bit more, check out the Archive to see some of the past games. Then check out the Forum to see the latest conversations.
Lame excuses for cutting a first date short...
e.g. Mom called and needs a foot bath NOW
- No more votes.Cyn S
My roommate gets to wear the dress after 9 pm
- No more votes.Julie S
They found a donor! Gotta run!
- No more votes.Alan F
Have to go now I'm bowling on my Wii bowling league tonight.
- No more votes.Holly Z
It's a matter of national security, you'll thank me one day.
- No more votes.June K
My mom misses me when I'm gone for more than an hour.
- No more votes.Linda B
If I'm not home by 6 pm, my goldfish gets anxious, and when he gets anxious, he pees a lot. Then the bowl overflows and that sets the cat off ...
- No more votes.Jeremy H
I just really want to make sure I leave myself enough time to floss tonight.
- No more votes.P.F. B
This cheesecake was LITERALLY orgasmic, and I won't need another moment of your time.
- No more votes.Bang B
I just remembered where I left my retainer in third grade.
- No more votes.Deb K
I think I'm going to sneeze.
- No more votes.Beau S
Sorry, I was in the top 10 at Analogies and I need go see if I got any more votes before it closes.
- No more votes.Debra Y
I need to wash the cat
- No more votes.Vikki P
Sorry, I don't use public bathrooms and I've got to go.
- No more votes.Neal G
God just told me to go to Sears.
- No more votes.Chris M
my edible underwear are melting
- No more votes.Brent S
I need to turn myself in on an outstanding warrant
- No more votes.Crysti D
I stubbed my toe on the table
- No more votes.Jim B
15 minutes to Wapner
- No more votes.Melinda S
it's the vernal equinox and I've got an egg to balance
- No more votes.Sara C
My hemorrhoids are acting up big time
- No more votes.John F
I have a big test coming up in a few months
- No more votes.Jacobee B
I have to return some videotapes.
- No more votes.Anne A
I have a really short term memory so we may as well call it a night.
- No more votes.Chris W
My World of Warcraft guild has called an emergency raid
- No more votes.Zach U
I need to go to bed early so I can be first to post in OUM
- No more votes.Joe C
I need to water my plants
- No more votes.Brian P
My programs are about to start
- No more votes.Brian B
My water just broke.
- No more votes.Steve J
I just remembered that I'm under house arrest and I wasn't supposed to leave home.
- No more votes.Melissa G
I suddenly remembered that I have no clean socks to wear tomorrow.
- No more votes.Tim L
I forgot my breast pump
- No more votes.Dot Cassidy D
I think you love your husband more than I love my wife.
- No more votes.Esther H
My boyfriend's finally being released from prison, and I promised to pick him up
- No more votes.Kim P
My friend's nephew's, sister's, uncle's, cousin, needs a ride home
- No more votes.George H
I just heard for Star Command. I need to rendezvous with the mothership in fifteen minutes. Take the rest of my Reese's Pieces.
- No more votes.Grant S
It's not me; it's you...
- No more votes.Julie S
It's time to feed the girl, I'm keeping as a slave, in my basement.
- No more votes.Chris M
My 12 hour lipstick is going to wear off in 5 minutes.
- No more votes.Elizabeth A
Damn ankle bracelet just gave away my location sorry .
- No more votes.Kimberly R
I can't miss the rose ceremony on the bachelor
- No more votes.Ronan D
Nice to meet you but I have to go and update my facebook status now...
- No more votes.Anna W
My girlfriend just called me and she knows I'm not at the office.
- No more votes.Steven D
I AM gay! You just triggered it!
- No more votes.David D
I did a laundry today but forgot to ball my socks
- No more votes.Chris L
I have papers to grade
- No more votes.Shannon J
I might still be able to pick someone up at the singles bar if I hurry.
- No more votes.Karl H
Farmville, ripe crops are calling to me. Good night.
- No more votes.Jeff J
Your dating profile never told me you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!
- No more votes.Donna G
American Idol is on.
- No more votes.Tony O
Your date pronounces it, "tomahto"
- No more votes.John C
I'm a member of a secret international intellectual group code name OUM and I need to repost right now. Really.
- No more votes.Charlene A
My husband cut his business trip short!
- No more votes.Pamela H
I have a hang nail
- No more votes.Laurie F
I need to be with my little brother and sister now, their hamster just died.
- No more votes.Elena N
I'm sorry but I just decided that I am coming out of the closet tonight.
- No more votes.Ajit D
I have to go pick up vibrator batteries for my... self.
- No more votes.Deena N
I must get home to see who was voted off DWTS
- No more votes.Benjamin S
Mad Men is on, and I was going to pirate it, but I feel guilty so now I'm going to watch it at my friend's house.
- No more votes.Jeff D
I hope you don't mind but Wheel of Fortune is on in 15 minutes. I gotta roll!
- No more votes.Jack P
At midnight, my Toyota turns into a pumpkin.
- No more votes.Wayne T
sorry, my wife just called and the baby's sick.
- No more votes.Tom S
- No more votes.Katie P
I just peed my pants
- No more votes.Adam C
My hemorrhoids need soaking
- No more votes.Christopher H
I was seeking someone who puts out BEFORE the first date
- No more votes.Ed H
Is that the time? I was supposed to register as a sex offender today!
- No more votes.Angel E
It's time for my cat's flea dip.
- No more votes.Ski Z
Damn! I just now noticed my husband's PI in the bushes. I've got to duck-out now!
- No more votes.Julie A
Hoarders comes on at 9:00
- No more votes.Michael S
I sharted - GOTTA GO!
- No more votes.Anne M
I just broke my tooth.
- No more votes.Sarah M
I'm allergic to this water and need to go to the hospital
- No more votes.Christal H
I need to get home, I just remembered this is the night I cut my dog's toenails.
- No more votes.Erin R
I have to go pick up my Dad's Viagra from the pharmacy. Mom is horny and dad can't get it up.
- No more votes.Graham N
The novacaine is wearing off
- No more votes.Marillyn H
My dog is going to have puppies
- No more votes.Carl N
Uh-oh. I'm afraid my number has come up on Finch's machine. You're in danger as long as you're near me, so...bye!
- No more votes.Nanci T
I forgot to water my silk flowers, GTG
- No more votes.Jack S
I'm late for my tantric sex lesson
- No more votes.Dobie F
I have to call my mom
- No more votes.Sherry T
I'm in labor
- No more votes.Joseph D
I got finals tomorrow. Gotta cram!
- No more votes.Lynn W
I've got to go home and remove my prosthetic leg.
- No more votes.Susan H
I have OCD and I have to see if the gas is turned off.
- No more votes.JoAnna S
You realize that is, indeed, a gun in his pocket
- No more votes.Gp L
I forgot your diaphragm
- No more votes.Sylvia P
I left the oven on
- No more votes.Michael M
I need to shave
- No more votes.Carolyn S
I need to go feed my dog
- No more votes.Zoltán K
I need to go to the restroom. Need a rest.
- No more votes.Fabrizio V
My fangs come out at 10, and no i'm not like that Cullen guy. if you see me like that i might kill you for real
- No more votes.Conor D
I have a party to go to - it's on in my pants
- No more votes.Laurie B
Gotta run, my stamp collecting group just started and I'm giving the program.