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OneUpMe.com is a community of creative thinkers who come together every day to play wordplay games. Every weekday, new topics are posted in a variety of games and players attempt to "one-up" each other in the cleverness of their responses. To get to know the site a bit more, check out the Archive to see some of the past games. Then check out the Forum to see the latest conversations.
Apr16
Lame excuses for cutting a first date short...
e.g. Mom called and needs a foot bath NOW
There were 93 posts and 683 votes
· Toggle Comments
- No more votes.Alan F
Have to go now I'm bowling on my Wii bowling league tonight.
- No more votes.June K
My mom misses me when I'm gone for more than an hour.
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Dot Cassidy D ·
Top 100 Player · Lives in Hyannis, NebraskaYick!! Well rid of that one!
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Brian B ·
A Powerful Force · Antique restorer at William Word Fine Antiques in Atlanta, GeorgiaHahaha
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David D ·
Elder (Over 100 Rounds) · Lives in Burlington, VermontThat will do the trick.
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- No more votes.Linda B
If I'm not home by 6 pm, my goldfish gets anxious, and when he gets anxious, he pees a lot. Then the bowl overflows and that sets the cat off ...
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Chris L ·
Pi, duh. · Associate Professor at Rowan University in Pitman, New JerseyChortle
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Marillyn H ·
Top 100 Player · Lives in Tulsa, OklahomaHad to vote for this
- No more votes.
- No more votes.P.F. B
This cheesecake was LITERALLY orgasmic, and I won't need another moment of your time.
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Marillyn H ·
Top 100 Player · Lives in Tulsa, OklahomaMe too
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Jeff D ·
Elder (Over 100 Rounds) · Works at Yeah! Burger - West Midtown in Atlanta, GeorgiaDude, you are hitting for the cycle today! Hilarious!
- No more votes.Beau S
Sorry, I was in the top 10 at Analogies and I need go see if I got any more votes before it closes.
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Laurie F ·
Top 100 Player · Worked at School District (Para III) in Jefferson, Wisconsinit's come to this-so sad
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Marillyn H ·
Top 100 Player · Lives in Tulsa, OklahomaHa ha
- No more votes.Vikki P
Sorry, I don't use public bathrooms and I've got to go.
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Cyn S ·
Top 100 Player · Works at There's No Place Like Home in Orlando, FloridaHey Vikki, long time no see
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Vikki P ·
Elder (Over 100 Rounds) · Crochet Hooker at The Chickadee Nest in Pullman, WashingtonHey, Cyn:)! Yeah, it's been crazy over here! I'm moving to Washington (the state, not DC) next month, so once I get settled in things should return to normal- except I'll be posting much later- no 4am for me!
- No more votes.Chris M
my edible underwear are melting
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Chris W ·
Top 100 Player · Owner at Martin Instruments & Supplies in Little Rock, ArkansasI hate when that happens!
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Chris M ·
Elder (Over 100 Rounds) · Lives in Portland, Oregonit can be a real problem. attracts ants.
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Ski Z ·
Top 100 Player · Journeyman at Millwright Local 1607 in Pomona, CaliforniaBut that's alright, ants tickle :)
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- No more votes.Crysti D
I stubbed my toe on the table
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Dot Cassidy D ·
Top 100 Player · Lives in Hyannis, NebraskaWell rid of that character!
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George H ·
Elder (Over 100 Rounds) · Worked at First MarbleheadOw ow ow
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- No more votes.Sara C
My hemorrhoids are acting up big time
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Brian B ·
A Powerful Force · Antique restorer at William Word Fine Antiques in Atlanta, Georgialol!
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Marillyn H ·
Top 100 Player · Lives in Tulsa, OklahomaHa ha
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- No more votes.Jacobee B
I have to return some videotapes.
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Chris W ·
Top 100 Player · Owner at Martin Instruments & Supplies in Little Rock, ArkansasHaha..you're going to have some late charges!
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Dot Cassidy D ·
Top 100 Player · Lives in Hyannis, NebraskaHA!! :)
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- No more votes.Anne A
I have a really short term memory so we may as well call it a night.
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Dot Cassidy D ·
Top 100 Player · Lives in Hyannis, NebraskaHilarious!
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Jack P ·
Top 100 Player · Lives in New York, New YorkI love you.
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Anne A ·
Elder (Over 100 Rounds) · Gallerina at Good Girl Art Gallery in Springfield, MissouriAnd I love you.
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- No more votes.Joe C
I need to water my plants
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Dot Cassidy D ·
Top 100 Player · Lives in Hyannis, NebraskaNOw there's a lame one!
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Chris W ·
Top 100 Player · Owner at Martin Instruments & Supplies in Little Rock, ArkansasThey're not going to water themselves!
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- No more votes.Steve J
I just remembered that I'm under house arrest and I wasn't supposed to leave home.
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Dot Cassidy D ·
Top 100 Player · Lives in Hyannis, NebraskaIt's so easy to forget house arrest!!! Ha!
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- No more votes.Melissa G
I suddenly remembered that I have no clean socks to wear tomorrow.
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Chris M ·
Top 10 Elite · Works at Legal Assistant in Muskegon, MichiganClean socks are extremely important!
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Dot Cassidy D ·
Top 100 Player · Lives in Hyannis, NebraskaI can't stop thinking about mine either!!! :)
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- No more votes.Tim L
I forgot my breast pump
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Laurie F ·
Top 100 Player · Worked at School District (Para III) in Jefferson, Wisconsinfunny, tim ;-)
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Kimberly R ·
Top 100 Player · Lives in Orlando, FloridaWow, lot of changes since you have been gone. Welcome back
- No more votes.
- No more votes.Kim P
My friend's nephew's, sister's, uncle's, cousin, needs a ride home
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Dot Cassidy D ·
Top 100 Player · Lives in Hyannis, NebraskaYeah, right!!! :)
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Ski Z ·
Top 100 Player · Journeyman at Millwright Local 1607 in Pomona, CaliforniaHahahahaha! So funny :D
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- No more votes.George H
I just heard for Star Command. I need to rendezvous with the mothership in fifteen minutes. Take the rest of my Reese's Pieces.
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Ski Z ·
Top 100 Player · Journeyman at Millwright Local 1607 in Pomona, CaliforniaHahahahaha! You always crack me up. :)
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George H ·
Elder (Over 100 Rounds) · Worked at First MarbleheadSorry, perhaps a helmet would help?
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Jeff D ·
Elder (Over 100 Rounds) · Works at Yeah! Burger - West Midtown in Atlanta, GeorgiaAwesome!
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- No more votes.David D
I did a laundry today but forgot to ball my socks
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Donna G ·
Top 100 Player · Lives in Cary, North Carolinacan't sleep until this is done
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Dot Cassidy D ·
Top 100 Player · Lives in Hyannis, NebraskaDavid!! :)
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Chris L ·
Pi, duh. · Associate Professor at Rowan University in Pitman, New JerseyWhat is it with the sock posts?
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- No more votes.Chris L
I have papers to grade
- No more votes.Karl H
Farmville, ripe crops are calling to me. Good night.
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Dot Cassidy D ·
Top 100 Player · Lives in Hyannis, NebraskaHate to see good crops go to waste!!
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Chris W ·
Top 100 Player · Owner at Martin Instruments & Supplies in Little Rock, ArkansasFunny!!
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- No more votes.Jeff J
Your dating profile never told me you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!
- No more votes.Donna G
American Idol is on.
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David D ·
Elder (Over 100 Rounds) · Lives in Burlington, VermontI used to.
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Marillyn H ·
Top 100 Player · Lives in Tulsa, OklahomaHa ha
- No more votes.Tony O
Your date pronounces it, "tomahto"
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Dot Cassidy D ·
Top 100 Player · Lives in Hyannis, NebraskaThat might actually be a great reason!! :)
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Brian P ·
Top 100 Player · Lives in Bothell, WashingtonI can't believe I had a date with the little people in the first place.
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David D ·
Elder (Over 100 Rounds) · Lives in Burlington, VermontThat would call it off.
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- No more votes.John C
I'm a member of a secret international intellectual group code name OUM and I need to repost right now. Really.
- No more votes.
- No more votes.Benjamin S
Mad Men is on, and I was going to pirate it, but I feel guilty so now I'm going to watch it at my friend's house.
- No more votes.Wayne T
sorry, my wife just called and the baby's sick.
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Donna G ·
Top 100 Player · Lives in Cary, North Carolinacreep
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Kimberly R ·
Top 100 Player · Lives in Orlando, Floridadouble creep
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- No more votes.Angel E
It's time for my cat's flea dip.
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David D ·
Elder (Over 100 Rounds) · Lives in Burlington, VermontShe must love that.
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Angel E ·
Top 100 Player · Lives in Macon, GeorgiaAlmost as much as getting her peticure, yes. :)
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Ski Z ·
Top 100 Player · Journeyman at Millwright Local 1607 in Pomona, CaliforniaHa! So I would believe this coming from you Kate :)
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- No more votes.
- No more votes.Christal H
I need to get home, I just remembered this is the night I cut my dog's toenails.
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Dot Cassidy D ·
Top 100 Player · Lives in Hyannis, NebraskaA scedule is a schedule!
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- No more votes.Erin R
I have to go pick up my Dad's Viagra from the pharmacy. Mom is horny and dad can't get it up.
- No more votes.
- No more votes.Fabrizio V
My fangs come out at 10, and no i'm not like that Cullen guy. if you see me like that i might kill you for real
See AllOther Topics
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We've reached exactly a mile high for those of you who are interested. - Claire N
Voting Distribution Curve
Marillyn H ·
Top 100 Player · Lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma
hahahahaha!
13 months agoDot Cassidy D ·
Top 100 Player · Lives in Hyannis, Nebraska
Holy cripes!!! :) Love it, Cyn!
13 months agoBrian B ·
A Powerful Force · Antique restorer at William Word Fine Antiques in Atlanta, Georgia
so great, Cyn!
13 months ago