Greed is good, unless...

It makes you fat.

you're Mother Teresa

you just maxed out your credit cards

you're Laura Seebol, then it's obnoxious

you're trying to win a Humanitarian Award

You've taken a vow of poverty

you Madoff with all the money

You prefer another deadly sin

it's ruining your life

You're breast feeding

You are writing government tax laws

you want to keep your friends

you're breaking the law

it ends you up in prison

you take the last piece of cake

You're on your twelfth doughnut and still have room for more

you're Occupying Wall Street

it's destructive

you're Augustus Gloop

you live by Ten Commandments

It's not the 80's

sharing will you get you laid

You took all of my chocolate

You're not Jewish

you are part of the 99%

you are not the greedy one

you use it for evil

You're literally stealing candy from a baby.

a real-life serial killer is acting out Seven

you have a conscience

you're Ebenezer Scrooge

you've eaten too much

you're the Pope

You want ALL the undercooked pork.

It obscures your view from the penthouse

you're an oboist and thought she said REED is good

You're sick of materialism

You're trying to share dessert

You believe in heaven

you're talking about that awful Chuck Woolery game show that aired on FOX

you have a soul

you're not Gorden Gecko

You're dyslexic, in which case deerg si doog

it makes you miserable

your "financial o.c.d." therapist is on vacation... on your money...

they catch you

We are not a greed on that

It's criminal.

You won't share your nightlock berries.

it crushes the people who, ultimately, will be responsible for your survival

You are a born again Gordon Gekko.

Left unchecked

you are part of a failing ponzi scheme

it ruins your integrity

it is immoral

It is someone else being greedy

It's the only thing you are about

it isn't and hey, it ISN'T

you got the short end of the stick

you care

You are not famous

you disagree.....d

You're on the board of a bank

you think the Powerball is really a sound investment strategy

Unless you are the GEICO Gecko

you make Jimmy Stewart want to kill himself.

you're not Jacob Marley

you only have vegetables in the house.....parp!! Peeee-eeewwww

your practically give it away!

greed is never good unless you give it another description

it's filled with msg and other fillers

you have all of the bunnies and little hats that you can handle.

You CAN'T give it away!

it does not result in your being rich