You should be ashamed of yourself, unless...

it pays the rent

You have an identical twin that you can blame it on

you were under hypnosis

Everyone agrees Grandma needed a good kick in the pants

that guy looks better without eyebrows anyway.

you did it on a double dare

The poster below likes watching porn too

You believe that the end justifies the means

You really needed to eat the whole box of chocolates (health reasons)

The poster above likes watching porn too

You both agreed to an open marriage

that really was the dog

you destroyed the evidence

Exotic dancing is how you support your kids

You have a damaged frontal lobe

no one is there to see what you have done

you were drunk and really didn't know it was a goat...

you compartmentalize

you did the right thing

your shrink says it's all your mom's fault

that's how you roll

You won it "fair and square".

You are rich enough to not care what others think.

You're 3 years old

you have dementia

that porno movie actually made you rich

it's the walk of shame and you're very satisfied

you don't really care

you plead insanity

You just couldn't hold it in any longer

It WAS called for

you have no shame

emotions aren't really your thing

you have broken free of oppressive religious constraints and masturbate freely

you did your best

you are about to say " Smile you're on Candid Camera"

You're a narcissist of the highest order.

It wasn't my fault. "The devil made me do it."

unless your sly enough to pass the buck

it took 3 years of intense therapy to rid yourself of shame

it's for a reality TV show

You're perfect

It's 2AM and your looking at her through your beer goggles

you enjoyed it

The shame will drive you to drinking again

even though I can sense our lifestyles are comparable, you simply are not there

She gave you permission to "think" about her

you plan on making your way to hell

you've got the body to pull the outfit off

You're just being sarcastic

You don't believe in Original Sin

Your wife had quite a makeover!

you just don't have the time

it's what you planned on doing all along

you play fair!

you're trying to stop being judgemental

what you did also got you killed

You increase the bribe!

you're proud of your hedonism

You can parlay yourself into a profitable venture (books, reality TV, self-help)

you are just a kid

You're an egocentric ninny without a clue

you have no remorse

I can join you

you just came up with a great analogy post

You tried, but you couldn't do it.

I did that to you first...then...sorry, man!

You hide the body where no one will ever find it.

your opinion of yourself is so high, that you feel you can do no wrong.

you have a buddy who watches "Jersey Shore" reruns with you while working

You are just getting even with someone, for the first time